THAT guy...

he's me. I don't know how I manage to pull it off every time, but I am THAT guy at parties. you know the one. as proof I will cite two examples from my past...

example number the first:

the hot tub party. now if you know me, you already know what happened and I shouldn't need to go any further. however, in the interest of wasting some of my time and writing a bullshit entry I'll expand my tale0... so, tmack, marcus and I were all chillin' in the hot tub at the party. hot tub was in the garage, which happened to have a very slick (slippery, not cool) concrete floor. throw water on that bad boy and you have a recipe for disaster, as I soon found out. now, I may or may not have been drinking at the time, but for some reason I decided that I needed to get out of the hot tub and check what time it was (still not sure why I had to do that, but whatev.) got one foot on the floor without incident, though I had to stretch a little because it was a long way down from the ledge of the hot tub. when I went to put my other foot down, all hell broke loose. I lost my footing and dropped to the ground like I'd been shot. unfortunately for me, I met a chair and a broken beer bottle on the way down. one second I was standing, the next I was on the ground confused and more than a little hurt. pretty sure the only thing that kept me from passing out/crying was all the alcohol in my system, and all the people who witnessed my fall. I wish I took pictures of the bruise I had, but I definitely suffered some internal bleeding that night, given that I had scar tissue IN my side for a couple of weeks...oh yeah, and I had a pretty sweet hole in my foot from that broken beer bottle.

example number B:

last night. party at east village. I was leaning against the stove, perfectly content with my position and my buzz. not drunk, just buzzed. all of a sudden a pink balloon came flying at me (from someone who shall remain nameless), and I must've spazzed out. next thing I knew I was lying on the floor surrounded by broken glass. I still have no idea how I managed to pull that one off but I'm pretty sure I can never show my face in that house again...

so next time anyone wants to invite THAT guy to a party, you know who to call.

weekend 'o fun: friday

seriously though, friday got a little out of hand. come along with me as I explore the events of that fateful evening...

the night started out rather slowly, as I found out that our traditional friday gathering at the grad lounge for lots of booze and quesedillas was not going to happen, as some integral members of the gang were going to be out of town for the weekend. however, I had other plans that night, so all was not lost.

I took my lazy ass to the UC loop and caught my regular bus home, where I quickly msn'd (yeah, I verbed it) Marcus to tell him that I would be free whenever the festivities began at his place. He told me to get my ass on the 5:45 bus, and that there would be food waiting for me.

*ate food, had beer*

earlier in the day Marcus had told me that Graeme's lady friend (don't even know if she exists yet...) had other plans, and that she would not, in fact, be spending the evening with us. I lost the bet. needless to say, I held off paying the money until Graeme was sure to be watching. He wasn't happy, but he took it like a champ because let's face it, kid's a trainwreck. perfect example: early in our evening the lady called and said something to the effect of, "did you call me earlier? i thought you called me...?" Graeme's reply, "nope. didn't call." he hung up. not sure who the first person to speak up was, but I'm pretty sure we all said something along the lines of, "you moron, Graeme. she was thinking about you and you blew her off."

anyway, we continued to drink, more people showed up, more booze was had, some carbombs were done, and the stage was set for the drunk dial. Graeme was stupid (or smart, depending on your outlook) enough to give Marcus his phone with the command, "you call her, and you fix this for me!" Marcus obliged. there he is on the phone. he left a polite little message but I'm not sure what came of it because things got a little hazy after that.

that Graeme...god help him, he tries.

eventually we made our way down to Doogie's, where I quickly forgot my social obligations and failed to play wingman for Marcus. but you know what? I was under the influence and I could barely see straight. that's what happens when you give me too much booze. lesson learned.

had way too much to drink, stumbled home after getting the necessary pita, and somehow made it into my bed where I quickly passed out for a solid 7 hours without moving.

things I like

since I introduced tink yesterday, I thought that today I should introduce you all to my girl, maggie. every time I go home she's there to greet me, usually on the driveway or waiting by the driver's side of which ever car my dad has on that given day. she'll whine and whimper for the next 20 minutes and follow me around the house until the end of the night. if I'm watching tv until 2am, she'll be there at my feet, making sure everything's okay.

in keeping with the theme of the day, here's a list of things I like:

- the smell of the air after a good rain in the spring
- crisp, sunny autumn days
- music
- hanging out talking about stupid things
- curry, guinness, and a leafs game
- quick rainstorms on hot days
- riding my bike as fast as I can for as long as I can
- passing slower riders using road bikes while I'm on my mountain bike
- impromptu bike races
- small things (there's a joke here, but whatever)
- bad/inappropriate jokes
- hopeless crushes
- a cold room when I'm falling asleep under my warm sheets
- laughing so hard it hurts

title

so for a grand total of about 20 minutes today I had a job. then I got a call saying that dudes had actually hired some other guy who had more experience than me. go figure. apparently I'm not even qualified enough to work in a grocery store. that's what an honours BA will get you these days folks.

incidently, meet tink. she's my sister's cat who, after 12 years, is finally out of my parents' house. not too sure how she handled the car ride to toronto, but at least now I don't have to worry about stepping in random piles of shit/hairballs every time I go home...

HA!

that's right, I totally remembered I had this thinger. and what's more, I remembered my username and password! take that establishment! (no idea what that means).

so lots has happened since may 22 (the last time I bothered with this waste of internet space), but quite frankly, I'm not going to bother saying anything about the past 5 months. let's be honest with ourselves here...no one cares, and I'm waaay too lazy.

incidently, let's all pray for this guy (in the picture, obviously) 'cause he needs all the help he can get. dude's almost as hopeless as I am...if you're wondering WTF I'm talking about then just click here and read to your heart's content.

that's Graeme, he's kind of a big deal around here...

okay...what else...

hmm, still in school, victory lapping it up at the U of G taking a whopping TWO courses this semester. other than that, I have a lot of free time to sit around drinking/watching hockey/watching random tv shows...that's. about. it.

back home

just got back...been up for 22 hours now...words not coming easy. here's a picture.

edit: for trip log/info/more pictures, check out the link on the side of the page. or click here.

greetings from Greece

it's may 19th and we're heading into our last weekend in Greece. We're on Santorini now until very early monday morning when we fly to Athens, then Montreal, then Toronto. I'll only have to be awake for 24 or so hours on that day. should be fun.

the weather here has been amazing and we've managed to only have one brief rain shower in the week and a half that we've been in the country. that one was actually kind of cool because we were literally in the cloud that was causing the storm. we're pretty high up on the island and the storm was apparently fairly low in the sky. tomorrow we're hitting up the volcano, hot springs, and the town of Oia for the famous sunsets. I get the feeling that my parents are going to enjoy that more than I am, but whatever, they're paying for everything.

I plan on actually making a real update at some point, but internet access ain't cheep here so I'm not going to waste my time.

W.

the countdown has begun

okay, one last update before the flight out...

24hrs to go now before we board that tiny cylinder to fly across the atlantic and most of europe. can't say that I'm looking forward to it as I'm completely and irrationally terrified of flying. I know that I'm more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the airport, but at least I wouldn't have to fall 35,000 feet before that death...

it's an eleven and a half hour flight (or so I'm told) and the stopover is in MONTREAL!!! who planned that? in the air for nearly 12 hours and the only stopover is 45 minutes into the flight! perhaps the worst part is that we're taking sardine air, in that we'll be packed tight as a duck's ass for the duration of the flight. and how tight is a duck's ass? water tight.

the beginning of a long summer

so I've moved everything out of the living room of my parent's house and my little room is completely packed with the small amount of stuff that I could get into it.

and immediately after I finish unpacking, I have to get my s*** together for the trip to greece, as we're leaving on sunday (I think, don't quote me...). needless to say, this week is probably going to be a little crazy, especially when you add to the equation the fact that I'm completely terrified of flying, and that this flight is going to be at least 11.5 hours on sardine airlines. oh well, could be worse I suppose...

Incidently, the reason I created this blog was to serve as a travel blog thinger...so there won't be much going up in the next three weeks or so (or ever for that matter), but after the 22nd I should have a perfectly detailed account of my trip to greece, with pictures to boot!

until then,

victory lap anyone?

it's official...looks like I'm coming back for one more year. I'm actually just deferring my graduation for a year, but the end result is that I'm still going to be around in Guelph. You can look for me in bars around Guelph for two more semesters as I struggle to pick up enough language courses (latin and greek) to prepare myself for an MA in classics rather than just plain old history.

pretty happy with the decision as it means that I really don't have to worry too much about acing this French exam tomorrow afternoon just so I can get a semi-decent mark in the class.

in other news, the birthday is on friday and I'll be writing an exam from 7-9pm. should be interesting. whatev. yeah, that's my thing, I shorten words, deal with it...

pretty sure anyone who reads this blog (bob and marcus pretty much...) should make sure to get their asses out on friday night to celebrate the big 2-3. there may be prizes...sexy prizes...

dream come true?

so those of you who know me (and let's face it, there are two people that read this thing with anything approaching regularity) may know of a wish that I've had for most of my educational career. for those of you who don't know me (i.e. anyone who has stumbled on this waste of space by mistake) I'll fill you in now...

for the last 9 years (give or take) I've wanted to go into a final exam, fall asleep/get drunk/do anything other than write the exam, and the get up, panic/yell/tear up the paper, and run. it's all I think about every time I write a final, "man, I just want to walk out of this room after causing a scene..." anyway, my last exam is on april 24th, yes, that's the last day of finals, and it turns out that it doesn't matter if I write it or not as I can't do any worse than 89.4% (this is related to the previous post with the mid-term mark). that day also happens to be the day that we're having the porch-climber party. I'm going to talk to the prof. and ask if my mid-term actually will count for 70% of my final grade (as is my understanding) or if it's still a 30%/40% mix. if it counts for 70%, I'm going to need some suggestions as I have absolutely no intention of trying to beat 89%, because quite frankly I don't think it can be done.

the person with the best suggestion will win a prize...

anyone else smell that?

that's the smell of success bitchez!

I don't want to brag too much, but I just got an 89.4% mid-term mark. the best part is that the prof. is only going to count the highest mark on either the mid-term or final, basically making my final worthless.

funny thing is, he gave me 44.7 because clearly I can't round up to 90%.

whatev. I'm still happy as a pig in sh*t.

post number the third

no, for serious.

every once and awhile a song comes out that just rocks my world. now, I like to think that I listen to a wide variety of musical styles and all that, but I definitely lean towards the harder stuff (with a few notable and important exceptions, which for our purposes shall remain nameless, it's a pride issue really). for a while it was "good vibrations" by the beach boys, then it was "sloop john b.", also by the beach boys. now I'm rocking out to "move along" by the all-american rejects. there's something about this song that just blows my mind.

currently in the middle of the last hell month of my university career, and quite frankly I couldn't be happier. sure I'm getting behind in all six of my classes, sure my marks may suffer, but at this point who really cares anymore? a little over a month from now I should be laughing my way to the unemployment line with my fresh BAH.history. and before you go and criticize my choice in studies at school, I'll have you know that I can write one hell of a paper. damn straight. 25 grand down the drain and I've learned how to use a semi-colon in a paragraph. how many of you can say that? (no english majors) I thought so.

day of days

so I was walking back from class this afternoon (1pm) and I noticed there was a double trailer transport truck parked on my street. now at first, I thought nothing of it, but as I got closer I noticed that it said "kokanee" on the truck. I also noticed a number of people around said truck. naturally I just assumed that some people were having a huge shinding and I continued on my way. I got home, dropped my stuff off, and went next door to talk with J about the trade deadline for hockey. didn't even give the truck a second thought. a short while later, my roomie Marcus came home, and he appeared to be in one hell of a rush. I was slightly confused by this so I went to see what was up. I got about one toe in the front door and I hear "dude, they're giving out free beer!"

"oh? so that's what that truck's for!"

"yeah, you coming? get some shoes, now!"

got my shoes, got my ID, got my free beer. tried to go back for round two (they were only giving out 6 packs) but the fuzz came and shut the whole thing down. the important thing is that now I have six free beers chilling in my fridge.

I know you're all jealous.

love and cupcakes,

popping that cherry

so here it is, the first post. I won't lie and say that it was easy, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it might.

I still have no idea what I'm doing, but they tell me that it comes with practice. eventually I may even come to like it. who knows?

this one has already gone on long enough and I need to take it easy in the beginning.

until next time,