THAT guy...

he's me. I don't know how I manage to pull it off every time, but I am THAT guy at parties. you know the one. as proof I will cite two examples from my past...

example number the first:

the hot tub party. now if you know me, you already know what happened and I shouldn't need to go any further. however, in the interest of wasting some of my time and writing a bullshit entry I'll expand my tale0... so, tmack, marcus and I were all chillin' in the hot tub at the party. hot tub was in the garage, which happened to have a very slick (slippery, not cool) concrete floor. throw water on that bad boy and you have a recipe for disaster, as I soon found out. now, I may or may not have been drinking at the time, but for some reason I decided that I needed to get out of the hot tub and check what time it was (still not sure why I had to do that, but whatev.) got one foot on the floor without incident, though I had to stretch a little because it was a long way down from the ledge of the hot tub. when I went to put my other foot down, all hell broke loose. I lost my footing and dropped to the ground like I'd been shot. unfortunately for me, I met a chair and a broken beer bottle on the way down. one second I was standing, the next I was on the ground confused and more than a little hurt. pretty sure the only thing that kept me from passing out/crying was all the alcohol in my system, and all the people who witnessed my fall. I wish I took pictures of the bruise I had, but I definitely suffered some internal bleeding that night, given that I had scar tissue IN my side for a couple of weeks...oh yeah, and I had a pretty sweet hole in my foot from that broken beer bottle.

example number B:

last night. party at east village. I was leaning against the stove, perfectly content with my position and my buzz. not drunk, just buzzed. all of a sudden a pink balloon came flying at me (from someone who shall remain nameless), and I must've spazzed out. next thing I knew I was lying on the floor surrounded by broken glass. I still have no idea how I managed to pull that one off but I'm pretty sure I can never show my face in that house again...

so next time anyone wants to invite THAT guy to a party, you know who to call.